You don’t have to do it alone (the value of asking for the right help)

By Lisa Pustelak, RCDA Senior Consultant

It’s the last day of the month, and as a bonus, it’s also the end of the quarter. You are not a quitter, so you are still trying to figure out how to come up with a miracle to hit all your metric goals to avoid “the talk” once again. You know at some point if the numbers don’t change, the talk will change, and you will be on the unemployment line.

Negative Nelly versus Positive Pete

As the Negative Nelly part of your mind kicks in, it’s saying things like, “I did everything I could. How much more can they expect me to do?” Or, “This isn’t my fault. I am just not cut out for this kind of work. Why did I think I could do this in the first place?”

Then, thank goodness, the Positive Pete part of your mind kicks in and says, “Who should I ask for help so I can learn more about the expectations? What steps did I take to improve and develop my skills?”

You can do anything you set your mind to, but you might not be able to do it alone.

Many of you reading this can relate to both Negative Nelly’s and Positive Pete’s messages. Unfortunately we have this battle with ourselves all too often. Why is it so difficult to ask for help?

Letting go of a limiting belief

For starters, we live in a do-it-yourself (DIY) society. Although the shows on HGTV may mean well as they help us improve our fixer-upper skills, that kind of mindset doesn’t help us meet and exceed our goals. We have to let go of the limiting belief that we need to do everything on our own. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, despite what you may have heard up until now. As Tony Robbins says, “Remember: we all get what we tolerate. So stop tolerating excuses within yourself, limiting beliefs of the past, or half-assed or fearful states.”

Talk to the most successful people in your field. I guarantee they will talk about the people who have helped them get where they are. They didn’t succeed on their own.  Yet we struggle day in and day out trying to do it all by ourselves. Let’s work on changing that, starting today!

Think about something you have been trying to do or change for a long time. Let’s identify people who may be able to help. Who do you know that has expertise in this area? (Here are some thought joggers: friends, colleagues, co-workers, competitors, past acquaintances, LinkedIn connections, etc.)

Who has accomplished the same thing you are trying to do?

Ok, I can hear you now. “Lisa, that’s the whole problem. I am afraid to ask these people questions about what I need. They are successful and busy people!” Brian Tracy said, “Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘What’s in it for me?’” In my experience, I have found that some of the nicest and most willing-to-help people are those who are already successful and busy. Asking the person next to you or your best friend who has the same struggles will not give you what you’re seeking. Jump out of that comfort zone and ask the right people for some help!

A mastermind group

Join or create a mastermind group. I am a huge fan of such groups and participate in several. My favorite definition of a mastermind is from Napoleon Hill. He said, “The coordination of knowledge and effort of two or more people, who work toward a definite purpose, in the spirit of harmony.” Forming a group of people who meet regularly to help each other reach their goals is one of the healthiest forms of help I have found so far. Choose who is in your mastermind group (whether you join an existing group or create one) very carefully. They need to be people you can trust.

Lastly, seek help from a coach or consultant in your field.

At Robert C. Davis and Associates, our clients call upon us often to help struggling teams or strengthen leadership skills to improve and sustain performance in particular areas. This is another great example of getting help from someone who has accomplished what you are trying to achieve.

As one of my favorite motivational speakers, Les Brown, says, “Ask for help not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.”

For more information on how RCDA can be a resource for you and everyone on your team, contact us today.